How to Write Your Vows

To hitch your rickety wagon to the flickering star of another fallible human being – what an insane thing to do. What a burden, what a gift.
— Ada Calhoun
How to Write Your Vows

We’ve all done it, we’ve all googled “how to write meaningful wedding vows.” But sometimes the Pinterest tips and Wikipedia guides to writing vows in seven steps somehow tend to leave us even more at a loss when it comes to crafting sincere wedding vows.

But here’s the thing: with an elopement, you have the opportunity to disregard traditional vow templates and ceremonial proceedings. When you elope, you have full privacy to share your vows without third cousins and distant childhood acquaintances listening to an intimate series of promises.

Eloping gives you the freedom to be raw and intimate with one another. Yes, I’ll be there to capture every moment of your day, but I believe in giving my couples space to be unflinchingly honest. I keep a distance and I hear the clicks of a camera, while you two exchange words of promise and commitment.

With complete freedom to be vulnerable and honest with each other, how do you begin to write your vows? Here’s the good news: your vows are unique and personal to you. There’s no wrong way to write them. But here are a few things to consider as you write your vows:

  • Write vows that celebrate your love. Your elopement is a day of celebration, so toast to early memories you cherish, to the moment you first knew you loved them, to experiences you can’t wait to share in your future. These moments deserve to be heard and celebrated, so why not add them into your vows?!

  • Meaningful vows are often hopeful, sensible, and grounded in reality. You’ll inevitably fight about missed appointments, hosting out-of-town guests, and lackluster leftovers, but what will you do to show each other love and unrelenting commitment in these moments of irritability and annoyance? Detail what drives your love, and share ways you promise to commit yourself to your love in these moments.

  • You could view your vows as a pivotal moment: a conversation that separates the before from the future. As you write your vows, reflect on “how is our life going to be different after we go through this?” Make your vows concrete, and detail how you’ll love your partner in different challenges and joys of married life.

  • You’re choosing to love this person no matter what. What qualities about your person, or what experiences have you shared that give you the confidence to commit to building a life together? Do you love the way they love your difficult relative, or how they balance your whimsy with logic? Tell them what gives you confidence to sign on to a lifelong love.

  • And finally, write it down. Your vows will you be perfect because they’re yours – they’re unique to the relationship that the two of you share. But regardless of the jokes, promises, and memories you work into the vows, make sure you take time to write them down. Whether you’re storing vows on your phone or a series of scribbled notes, take time to write down your vows in a booklet or a piece of paper on your wedding day. You’ll be so thankful for the tactile, physical reminder of these promises in the years to come.

Happy writing!